think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize
