ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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