i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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