Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
