I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
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