Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
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