he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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