I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
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