i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
Randomize
