if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
After last night, I could never be a politician.
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
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