Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
