I am puke
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
Randomize
