Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
