I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?