This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
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