oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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