I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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