I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
i think im in europe. pls send help
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
