the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
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