why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
then he tried to convert me to islam
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
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