Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
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