Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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