Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
Randomize
