well you can't waste a boner
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
COCAINE IS GR8
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