And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
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Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
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