you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
Randomize
