I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
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