Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
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