Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
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