he wants to bone in the snuggie
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
