Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
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