The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
