She is in my trunk
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Randomize