On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
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