Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
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