I need to stop coming to work sober
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
How naked do you want me to be?
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
