Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
Randomize
