Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize