This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
