Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
