Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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