new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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