my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
Randomize
