Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
Everyone says I win the strip club
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
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