Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
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She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
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ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
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