yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
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I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
