You really coming over, don't trick.
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Randomize
