Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
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