People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
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