mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
