i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
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