I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
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I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
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