At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
Randomize
