If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
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