there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
Randomize
