why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
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