Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
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He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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