no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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