i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Randomize
