Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Randomize
