ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
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