I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
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I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
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Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
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